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I call this harmony the Balance of Attraction, which is the basis for everything I talk about when I teach men and women how to improve their dating lives.

The Balance of Attraction is comprised of four components: personal investment, reciprocated investment, comfort, and tension.

Next time you’re in a potentially romantic interaction, ask yourself, “Where are we in the Balance of Attraction?

” Simply being mindful of these variables will go a long way toward improving your dating life.

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Obviously, there’s much more to fulfilling courtship than a Venn diagram, but this is a good start.

It’s impossible to create romance without first building rapport. That trust comes in handy when you amp up the tension later.

Failing to establish comfort with your love interest is like trying to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread. Your potential lover won’t stick around when things get tense unless they already enjoy talking with you. Comfort is good, but you shouldn’t get too relaxed.

Of course bleeding won’t help your headache, but physicians swore by the practice well into the 19th century.

Why did so many people support such a useless, harmful remedy? Everyone attributed the relief to blood loss, failing to understand the many thousands of variables at play. Over the years I’ve learned that men and women can improve their love lives with straightforward changes in habits and conversation techniques.

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