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I’d love to see him and the kids happy and settled with a good woman in their lives, so I suggested letting me screen women’s profiles online, and then babysitting while he meets the best of the best in person. Is screening possible mates something only he can do? And although they were roundly decried as crazy, as of their 10compared to cultural Do It Yourself norms.
Not only are people in arranged marriages in Jaipur, India, happier five and 10 years later than those who married for love—but Western-world Friends & Family are often superior judges of our relationship’s prospects, too. Yes, people called Dave Weinlick insane, attention-seeking, and worse; still, he was besieged by 300 eager would-be brides.
Whereas sites that allow men to prowl amongst endless photos have a tough time getting equivalent numbers of women to join—to wit, Match.com’s formerly published 55% male to 45% female ratio—e Harmony activates women’s sense of safety and thwarts hunters by doling out the pix-n-profiles a few at a time.
So although the e Harmony website used to claim “roughly equal” numbers of men and women members, and a company spokesperson admitted, under regrettable pressure from one Love Scientist, to a “slight female skew” in the membership (while refusing to divulge specifics)—I don’t believe it for one hot minute.
But at least there is an algorithm, and the Big 5 personality profiling is real.
And it’s doubtful whether it’s even mathematically possible to match on 29 criteria in any meaningful way.
And we all know to which gender such a site would most appeal.
Therefore, it’s a target-rich environment for serious, commitment-minded men. At e Harmony, not only are the odds good—the Goods are usually good, too.
I wish you all—you, Fred, his kids, and his future wife—every happiness. She also contributes at Psychology Today and teaches psychology at Austin-area universities.
Cheers, Duana The author wishes to acknowledge the following scientists and sources: Tara Mac Donald and Mike Ross, for their work on parents’, roommates’, and students’ abilities to predict the length of students’ dating relationships.